Inside outside

It's all scattered outside, It's even scattered inside. How can I organise my outside , When it's all litter inside, It's going on since long, It's not a place where I belong. There is struggle in my mind, What am I, I have to find. The journey to search myself has begun , The route is tough,harsh and not at all fun. It's the moment to be true to myself, Only the facts and no more bluff. I known it will make me cry, But this time I will not shy. I will take out what's all laid to rest, This time it's my self test. I questioned, why I am not happy? Though I have everything around me classy. It's the expectation that I had with myself, I had dreams resting on my shelf. It's been long I had a meeting with my own soul, To talk it out one and all without any toll. When I turn and see I feel I lost my way, It's more than a decade and it's not a tale of today. I woke up as I was asleep, It's the time that took a leap. I have talked to my self in and out, And have cleared all my doubts . My soul gave me all the explanations, And also provided me the solutions. It said you talked more outside and was mum inside, Just reverse it, and see the magic, I listened to it instantly as it had a logic. The more I talked with me, The brighter outside I could see. I talked more and more, Gradually I unlocked many door. I decided to organise my inside one by one, There was no hurry, gradually it was to be done, I started to focus on myself , step by step. I had interactions within and was ready for my help Slowly I organised my inside, and I decorated it more, I found my outside ,falling into the place I always adored. The fight with inside and outside is still on, Till I find a place to which I belong.